Family Articles

Dealing With Defiant Teens

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs that anyone will ever experience. As children mature and develop daily challenges become more difficult. If you thought trying to deal with toddlers was hard wait until you parent a teen. You'll discover the toddler years were a breeze when you compare these times to the challenges of dealing with teenagers. Dealing with a defiant teen multiplies those challenges. Dealing with a defiant teenager means you are going to be battling at the same time they are attempting to develop their own independence and personality. Those emotional and hormonal upheavals that affect a teenager will bring palpable tension to any home.

To ensure that you maintain an emotional connection with your teenager there are several different methods to help you make it through the more difficult times. If you make an effort and try to understand the reasons for your child's defiant behavior it will be easier to deal with. Most parents who are dealing with similar situations are feeling just as hopeless and lost as you, but it will help to remember that you are not going through this alone.

Encourage respect on both fronts- A child learns behavior and respect from you and the other adults in their life. Thus, how you treat them is reflected by their treatment of you. The love that exists between you and your child is there but you also need respect. Without respect the love can wither under the strain of dealing with those teenage years. You must continue to show respect for your teenager if you want them to return the favor.

Understanding how your teenager is feeling- There will always be a reason your teenager is being defiant, and you need to understand what they are going through. There could be a vast number of reasons for the way they are reacting and feeling. You have to think back to when you were a teenager, and how alone it could feel at times. Taking the time to understand will ensure your teenager knows they have somewhere to turn.

Connecting with your teenager- There will be many times, when you feel you have no idea what your teenager is doing or thinking. However, remaining connected and ensuring that you are always interested in their hobbies, friends and social life with ensure that you remain part of their lives. Great communication may not be as easy as you hope, but even the smallest amount of connection is essential.

Admitting when professional help is needed- Seeking professional help is not a sign of being a bad parent and there are many parents that wish they had asked for help. Many troubled teenagers will like having someone to talk to. The professionals are trained to deal with every situation, and will know the path to take with the teenager. The professionals will be able to help not only your teenager, but also be able to advise you on how to deal with your defiant teenager.

Spend quality time together as a family- With younger kids parents generally find lots of fun activities that they can do together during those spare moments. It changes as your children grow older; this is when bonding time begins to shrink and in the case of some families this results in total disconnection as a cohesive family unit. Being able to spend some quality time together as a family and promoting open conversation can boost your level of communication with each other. Once your teenager begins to feel that they are indeed connected to the family they are more able to deal positively with their emotional ups and downs.